Thursday, December 23, 2010

Welfare, the National Debt and Pork

I am going to single handedly solve our nations deficit problem. This is a very radical and revolutionary approach that defies the very nature of the government as we know it today. It may be a bit on the edge but I believe it is still possible and that the people will support me in this cause. What is this ingenious idea? Simple, STOP SPENDING MONEY YOU DON’T HAVE TO SPEND!

I know, I know, it is an extreme notion, but it is possible. Despite the windbags on capital hill and in the oval office swearing we need to spend more, we really need to spend less. They will tell you in all of their Ivy League school speech that there is no way to spend less and that in reality we need to spend more; they’re wrong.

Pay attention Mr. Politician, I am going to help you save a fortune. Here are 3 easy steps to getting more fiscally sound:

1. Actually reform welfare. Whoa, what a thought! Instead of having people “breeding for benefits” and sucking down my tax dollars like an Irishman slamming pints on penny beer night, try actually capping the damn well. How you ask (and I know you are asking since you have failed to figure it out since it was conceived in the 1930’s)? Simple, Mr. Politician; follow these 3 easy steps to eradicate welfare as we know it today:

1. Limit welfare to 2 years and to a once in a lifetime benefit

2. Require welfare recipients to attend and graduate with a 2-year degree from a community college or other accredited institution (tuition covered by welfare as long as recipients maintain passing grades). Educating them is the first step in helping them up on their own and off of our tax dollars. Offer a 6 month extension for those that need to first get a GED, but they must get the GED in that first 6 month period.

3. Offer sliding scale daycare to all graduates and require them to maintain fulltime employment. Why should those of us that are responsible and work pay for those too lazy to get a job? Make them work fulltime and contribute to their own well being.

These actions will actually make people responsible for their own lives and survival. Welfare should be a one time help up and nothing more. Cost savings: $300 Billion a year. That should put a dent into that naughty deficit of ours.

2. Reduce the size of government, a lot. We are so bloated with people watching people, overseeing people, managing people, supervising the one person actually working that you could effectively cut the size of government by as much as 15% and not make any impact into its productivity. Hell, one arm of the government already doesn’t know what the other is doing with all this bloat anyway; the least they could do is reduce the size and charge us less for this chaos. Between salaries, benefits and pensions, depending on what cuts are made, the savings again are well into the billions.

3. Stop raping the American public pork barrel style. I am going to go out on a limb and say that less than 10% of Americans even know what pork barrel spending is you wily politician you, but the jig is up. With us drowning in debt we are now watching what you are doing and we are not happy with the results. Why are you putting us on the hook for $150,000 to renovate a Brooklyn theater or $1,200,000 for museum research in NY? Are you kidding me?

For those that don’t’ know a pork project is a line-item in an appropriations bill that designates tax dollars for a specific purpose in circumvention of established budgetary procedures. In other words, it is snuck into other bills like military spending, tax cuts or education without every being voted on or without you every knowing. Every recall hearing the government announce as part of their proud boasting moment of passing a bill that they slid in and included 9,129 pork projects totalling $16.5 billion? Yeah, me either.

This barely scratches the surface of what needs to be done to stabilize our nations money haemorrhage but it is a start. It has taken a lot of politicians a lot of time to screw our country’s finances up; it will take time to fix.

As always, thanks for reading. Remember… you may disagree, but you’d be wrong.

~Mr. Joseph

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Mr. Joseph, Profile and Exposed

OK, if you are reading this you either don’t know me, want to get to know me, already know me and are stalking me or are just that damn bored; either way, welcome!
As you see from my About Me section, I can be a bit of a dick. This is not really an “on purpose” thing as much as it is an “in my DNA” thing. Majority of the time my intentions are good, but my actions scream D-I-C-K. Understanding this is very important while reading through this blog because you will face certain anger and frustration (possible sadness inside) if you don’t. I call it like it is and say it like it needs to be said. If you want sugar coating, go to a bakery; here, you get it raw and direct.
Once you get past the rough, somewhat unpolished, outside, you will find a diamond in the middle (or so I have been told). The problem is that I am a miscellany of a good heart and self gratification. That essentially means that I am willing to do about anything for anyone, and I do generally care about people, but when push comes to shove, I want what I want and I will get it. I am not sure if that is the Water Ox or the Capricorn in me, but it is what it is, like it or not.
I will always be honest and tell you how it is whether I should or not… unfortunately, the truth is so direct at times that people generally don’t believe or accept it. I would love to have a career in politics just so I could slap those knuckleheads in congress around and remind them that they work for the people, not the other way around. I sincerely believe I would make a difference for the average American, but I am honest and that is just not a trait welcome in Washington DC.
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life (frankly, anyone who hasn’t should question whether they have really lived), but I have learned from them all. I may not have always been a good boyfriend, husband, father or human being, but those experiences have shaped me into who I am today. I am thankful for my experiences, good and bad, and glad I have had a diverse set of challenges in my life to help shape me into the well-rounded person I am today… still a dick, but at least a well rounded dick.
Hopefully you will enjoy your visit and find something of merit in these posts. I must put a few disclaimers on anything I write just so we are all clear on the ground rules:
1. You are free to post your opinion but don’t expect me to change my view. I am right and you are wrong, it is that simple.
2. If you get offended, get over it. If you are that upset about anything that I write than you are probably in need of some immediate and intense psychotherapy.
3. You call comment that I am a dick, or whatever term of endearment that you chose, but I have already disclosed that, so that really just means that you are a dumb ass too stupid to post; however, I support the handicap here and will allow all comments (except spam).
4. If you are a disgruntled female here to share your anger, you are on the wrong blog. I have another one setup just for you and just for that purpose. Head over there (just Google yourself, you’ll find it), find your number and story, and post your rabid rant there. *Feel free to add a more recent photo of yourself, or at least one with clothes. ;)
5. There are other rules, but they are all in my head and I think it would be a lot more fun for you to try and guess than me just telling you.
There is more to me and you will discover it all through out this blog. For now, I will simply say once again, welcome!
~Mr. Joseph


Every single day something happens where I say, "I really should blog that"; but alas, I never do. Well, I am tired of saying that and depriving the world of the satirical entertainment that is my life. It will become my mission to share every story, complaint, wacky event or delicious goodness that is Twinkies with you, my dedicated readers.

Before I can tell a story about anything you will need to know a few things about me. Take everything I say here at face value as there are no hidden meanings or embellishments, this really is me exposed (in the open way, not the wanker swinging sort of way). If you don't like what you read here... well, I don't care; keep reading anyway.

Read on to the first post - "Mr. Joseph, Profiled and Exposed" - It is well worth the read and will start your journey into my life...